A doctors prescription

A man ran to the doctor shouting and screaming in pain. "Please, doctor, you've got to help me. I've been stung by a bee!"

"Don't worry," says the doctor. "I'll put some cream on it."

"You'll never find that bee. It must be miles away by now."

"No, you don't understand!" answers the doctor. "I'll put some cream on the place you were stung."

"Oh! It happened in the garden behind my house."

"No, no, no!" The doctor was getting frustrated. "I mean on the part of your body where the bee stung you."

"On my finger!" screamed the man in pain. "The bee stung me on my finger and it really hurts!"

"Which one?" the doctor asked.

"How am I supposed to know? All bees look the same to me!"

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An overweight clerk consulted the doctor for advice. The doctor advised that the clerk run 10 miles a day for 30 days. This, he promised, would burn off as much as twenty pounds.

The clerk followed the doctor's advice and after thirty days was pleased to note a loss of twenty pounds.

The clerk phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results. At the end of the conversation, however, there was one last question:

"How do I get home, since I'm now 300 miles away?"

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My wife and I don't have a lot of "junk food" in the house. Upon eating a snack of some munchies my grandson asked what vitamins we had consumed.

"I doubt there were any at all."

His eyes grew wide. "You mean these are just for fun?"


If laughter, love and compassion fill your home,
your children will always return.

Debbie